Learning to Surrender in Life
Sometimes in life, we try to identify ourselves with everything around us in order to feel like we belong to someone or something. In doing so, we often give away our own sense of control. I think this is deeply rooted in our DNA—our first ancestors stuck together to survive, and even now, we keep repeating the same pattern, sometimes without real reason.
In relationships, when we feel good about someone, we want to hold on as tightly as we can. The same happens with situations that give us comfort and stability. But no matter how hard we try, things don’t last forever. People leave, circumstances change, and what once felt secure may eventually disappear. Often, we resist this because deep down, we fear that if we lose them, we will lose ourselves.
As an immigrant, I’ve had to learn surrender in the hardest way. For someone like me, who loves to connect with people and find common ground to feel less alone, letting go has been painful. I once believed I had to hold onto friendships, love, and even family ties tightly, or else they would vanish forever. But over time, I realized that clinging was just another way of running from reality. True connection doesn’t require grasping it flows. If the bond is real, life has a way of bringing us back together.
I am still learning. I try, I fail, and I try again. My desire is to live, to see, and to let go without attachment, without regret.
Surrender has become my teacher. It doesn’t mean giving up, but rather embracing life as it comes. Here are some of the ways I’m learning to surrender:
- Shift from Control to Trust
I remind myself that I can’t control outcomes, only my actions. Life has its own timing, and trusting that eases the weight I carry.
- Accept the Present Moment
Instead of resisting what is, I try to meet life where it stands. Peace begins when I stop fighting reality.
- Release the Need for Certainty
I don’t need to have all the answers. I trust that when change comes, I’ll find my way through it.
- Practice Letting Go
Friendships, comfort zones, expectations, all of these can shift. Letting go doesn’t erase their meaning; it honour's what they gave me and makes room for new growth.
- Cultivate Inner Stillness
Through moments of quiet, whether in meditation or a simple deep breath, I reconnect with something greater than myself.
- Align with Flow, Not Force
Life feels lighter when I stop pushing against resistance and instead move with what naturally unfolds.
- Say “Yes” to Life
Surrender is not weakness, it’s openness. It’s saying yes even when life doesn’t go according to plan.
The deeper truth, however, is this: inside, we are always alone. No matter how social we are, how many friends we make, or how strong our communication skills become there’s a place within us that no one else can reach. We were born alone, and one day we will leave this world alone.
The more we accept this solitude, the less we suffer from disappointment, resentment, or despair. Surrender, then, is not about fighting this reality but embracing it. It’s about learning to live fully, love deeply, and let go grace full while carrying the quiet knowledge that our inner solitude is not a curse, but a space of freedom and truth.
And maybe, in surrender, we finally find peace. 🌿